i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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