OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
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she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
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We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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