dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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