Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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