i just wanna soil my oats bro
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
