is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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