i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
