Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Randomize
