why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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