the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
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