im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
