Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
