Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
