i don't like sucking hair
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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