What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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