Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
