i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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