Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
why didn't you poke me back
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
