Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
