Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Come share oat with me in your robe
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
