i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
