How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
