Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
