I can tuck mytits in my pants
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
