Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
