she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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