I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.