the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
I have to watch that.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.