thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize