go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
