This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
