he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
