Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
