I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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