Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
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I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
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The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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