Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
No subtext here. People are naked.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
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I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
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I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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