You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
dude i'm inner monologue high
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
