Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
