turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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