SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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