it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
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