Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize