I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize