Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
