Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize