Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
