My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize