That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
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How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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