Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You need Xanax blowdarts
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
