I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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