it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
