my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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