Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
