He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
